Figures of Speech
by Purple Rabbit's Foot
Summary: LESSONS LEARNED: Never, ever even try to trick Hanabi ever again. And trust Akamaru because though as loyal as he can get in the combat zone, if you piss him off, he can be a mischievous, smart ass traitor. A KibaHanabi Oneshot.


**Disclaimer: **Yeah, Naruto's not mine.  
**Pairing(s): **KibaHana

**Figures of Speech**  
By: pin0ts

_ARF! ARF! ARF! ARF!_

Kiba threw his hands up in exasperation. His dog had been barking nonstop ever since they got home. "For the millionth time, Akamaru, it's her turn to fetch him, okay? Now stop barking and let's rest!"

The canine did as told and lied down, but not before a short, nasty growl at his master, as if saying, "You'll see."

The man just ignored this and put both his hands under his head as a pillow, closing his eyes, letting the peace in their household lull him into a deep slumber.

But it didn't last long, because the door slamming, at the point of almost breaking, yanked the tired man from his sweet sleep. But if that's not bad enough, imagine an infuriated Hanabi, walking right in.

"Kiba." Her tone was emotionless, yet spiteful, and it was all it took to get the male Inuzuka wide awake, his disrupted sleep pushed at the back of his mind, well forgotten. Now, the only thing on his mind is what the hell did he do wrong now?

"Yes, dear?" He tries to lighten up the mood, causing his son, who came in with his mother, to emit a stifled snicker. For a second, he looked squarely at his son's laughing white eyes, but besides that, he did nothing, something Hanabi did too.

"Today is a Friday, need I remind you?" Again with the icy tone, but Kiba already knows where this'll go, and he had just the answer. He stares back with confidence at his wife, he knows he'll win this.

"Yes, I _was_ supposed to fetch Hakuso, but you _did_ agree to do it for me, remember?" His playful statement earned a raise of an eyebrow from the other party, who certainly had no idea on whatever the dog lover is implying. He pouts in mock confusion, "Oh, I thought we had everything clear last night."

The woman's eyes widened at her spouse's controversial statement, she opens her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. She withdraws and closes it, looking at her son to check his reaction, before looking back at the smirking man and rolling her eyes. "Help your son with his homework."

Smiling in victory, Kiba sits on the sofa, motioning his son, who had his face all scrunched up, to come sit with him. As the small boy walked to his father, he asks about what had happened earlier. "Dad, what did you mean by what you just said?"

The older man couldn't help but chuckle a little at his son's innocence and curiosity. "You'll get it someday." The kid pouts, but dismissed the topic nonetheless. "So what's your homework about?"

"Figures of speech." The small one starts, "We have four, and we need to give an example for each."

Kiba nods eagerly, a plan forming in his mind. He may not be the most attentive in his class, and he barely remembers anything, he just usually reads his son's book just to guide him, but this one particular topic, he remembers. "Easy. What's the first one?"

"A Simile," The boy reads from his book, "is used when you compare one thing to another by means of the words 'as' or 'like'."

"I'll make my own example first before you write down your own, okay?" The spiky haired brunette instructs as he quickly does a side glance to his wife who went to sit on the one seat couch at the side, watching the two, ready to interfere when he says something wrong.

After the kid nods in understanding, the head of the family looks thoughtfully at his wife for a moment, before returning his gaze to his son, and speaking. "Your mother's eyes are like the moon, so beautiful and entrancing."

He could feel her eyes on him, but as tempting as it may, he didn't look back. He opted to completing his scheme before snatching a look at his prospect.

The silence was deafening, and so was the kid's scribbling. It's the tense silence that Kiba had been anticipating the moment he started his move. Ending his sentence with a final dot, the boy turns his eyes to the open book, just at his right, and read the next figure of speech.

"A Metaphor is the direct comparison of two objects without the use of the words as or like." For some reason, the elder Inuzuka male knew that there's more to the expectant gaze his son gave him. Not being able to decipher what in the seven hells it was, he chose to move on with his plot.

"She's a swan in the battlefield, those Gentle Fists, performed with such graceful perfection." He says it in dreamy fascination, pride somehow managing to mix and becoming evident in his foxy face.

Kiba watches as his son's grin widens, white eyes staring back at him for a second longer, transmitting a silent message before bowing to start writing his own sentence. With this, the older man finally understands that the little man knows full well what his father is doing.

"Personification is the giving of human traits to a nonhuman subject."

Two pairs of eyes stared at the shinobi, both expectant, only the other hides it quite well. Finalizing what he had in mind, the man starts off casually, "You know when I proposed to your mom, I was so nervous."

The kunoichi's eyebrow was raised at the mention of the proposal, her cynical expression not mirroring the hint of warmness she's feeling inside. Hakuso on the other hand, perked up, excited to hear what his dad has in store for them next. "Really, _really_ nervous?"

"Yes, very, but thankfully, nature was on my side." He says almost seriously. "The sun—"

He was stopped by a genuinely curious question from his son, "You're just starting with your example… right?"

Kiba just nods before continuing his interrupted sentence, "The sun smiled warmly in assurance and when she finally said yes, the trees and the flowers swayed to the happy melody of the wind's whistle."

Feeling a rolling of eyes from his wife's direction, the dog lover started to have doubts with his plan. He was starting to get nervous, not at all wanting to piss the white eyed lady more, because this may all end up with him sleeping on the couch. But he had to continue what he started. He knows he can get to her.

"Hyperbole is the exaggeration of statements to create more dramatic effect." Hakuso finishes off by closing the book, knowing that he has no use for it anymore, seeing that it was the last of the assigned Figures of Speech.

On the other hand, Kiba was tempted to say, '_You know your mother's angry when you see red smoke coming out of her ears._' Or '_Your mom's so scary when she's angry, I'd rather kiss Hiashi on the lips than feel her wrath._' But this isn't one of the lighter days for the couple, so he decided for a more flattering sentence.

"Her smiles don't come often, but when she does, it makes my heart burst with joy and my breath stagger violently at its radiance."

And that was it, his last chance of salvation from sleeping on the couch.

He waited for their little one to disappear to his room before he turned to meet his wife's white orbs. They were blank, as if she was debating on something, debating on whether to forgive him so easily or not.

The moment he saw a spark in her eyes, he took the courage to finally break the ice. "So…" He starts with uncertainty, "am I forgiven?"

She averts her eyes from his for a minute, to finalize her decision, and when she does, she looks at him with less skepticism. "Yes."

At this, he made a mental dance, that involved some moves that would have made Hanabi take back her forgiveness if she saw it. Outside, his face was one of relief.

But then, her lips broke into a smirk, and suddenly, the disco music in his head screeched to a halt.

"But you're still sleeping on the couch tonight."

And without a second glance, she made her way to their room, satisfied with her husband's punishment.

_ARF!_

It was an 'I told you so' bark, and shinobi can't really blame him. He was about to lie down and start blaming himself for even thinking about even asking her that night, when Hanabi came to view, stopping just before the stairs. He thought her was looking at her, but no, her gaze was fixated on the dog lying near the sofa.

"Akamaru," She hollered, "come."

The canine looked at his master for a minute, and the man swore he saw him make a face, before standing up and run to his mistress. All the while, leaving a slack jawed Inuzuka behind.

Slapping a hand on his forehead in misery, Kiba mutters, "Damn."

LESSONS LEARNED: Never, _ever_ even try to trick Hanabi ever again. And trust Akamaru because though as loyal as he can get in the combat zone, if you piss him off, he can be a mischievous, smart ass traitor.

--

**Author's Ramblings:** Finally, I got to finish this! This one had been sitting on my 'Unfinished' folder for a few months now and I just had to finish it. Anyway, here's another crack pairing I absolutely adore, next to my deep love for SasuTen.

It's weird how Kiba's so suave, but he's the only one I can see this story going with. I mean, I doubt the prodigies, plus Shikamaru would do this, especially the 'tricking in bed' part. Naruto and Lee are so out of the question. So, it just had to be Kiba.

Also, the adorable little Hakuso is featured in my other fic, **Dad the Tooth Fairy**. It's a SasuTen though. So, yeah. ;p

Anyway, reviews are very much appreciated, and yearned for. And thank you for reading.


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